piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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