Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize