i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
