there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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