just tell him i said nine months
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
