Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize