Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
