Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
