my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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