wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
