shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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