you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
