just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
