Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You made out with two different species that night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
