hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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