Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
