Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
