best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
