heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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