What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
