That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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