Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
