ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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