Do you still have your period?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They should really pass out barf bags in church
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
