it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
