are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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