Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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