hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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