we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
