Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
