I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
