i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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