I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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