I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i believe in u and ur pee
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
