Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
