What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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