I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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