i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
