I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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