Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
