dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize