its not stalking. its research.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
