blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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