I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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