A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
