The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
