remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
