If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
