i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
