i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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