I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
