Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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