She said her name was "party"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
