I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
