You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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