So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
