i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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