A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
