Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize