is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
