I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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