Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize