yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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