The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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