i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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